free feelings

[ether]

I think it would be nice to write here your feelings of the moment, how you feel about Lily Chou Chou or yourself

[Soul_of_the_Ether]

I haven't managed to login for over a month now. I've had so much going on, & still going on, & none of it good; I can see some important apects of my life going up in flames before my eyes, & theres not much I can do about it, only wait & see what happens. Lily's been a constant companion of mine in these dark times of uncertainty; it's like I'm stuck in limbo not knowing which way to go, or even whats best to do to carry on going; but Lily is with me, & with her music she has given me the power to see through the smoke. I just want to say thanks for starting this topic 'ether', I'll be posting on it from time to time. I actually had an idea for a topic quite similar to this, but a little different, over a month ago now, but with not logging in for so long I wondered whether to post it at all; I've decided I will. It's time for proaction, I must go on, there is no choice but to keep on living in whichever way I can, otherwise I may as well sit down put my glasses on & count the days till I die. ... I'm gonna finally reply to some of the other posts as well, so its all go from here.

Hope all's good for the rest of you.

[DeanSoDisco]

I don't know where to start posting in the forum, and so I will start her if that's okay?

Soul_of_the_Ether, there is the only constant of living really, and you are right, pro-action is the only way. I'm glad you posted, and that it was just a few days ago, I hope one day everything will make sense without uncertainty, and that you will be happy.

Right now I'm wondering about festive periods (don't celebrate Christmas, family + agnosticism + Buddhist studying = no care for it) and realised how lonely people are, even some of my own friends, and my other half, and myself. It's strange, in Winter everything seems a little bit easier to deal with problems for me. I only need some music, and the knowledge that someone is with me in soul to be able to keep trying, even if I do anything stupid to myself. 

[Soul_of_the_Ether]

DeanSoDisco, thanks for your words of encouragement. I hope everything will turn out alright for me; at the moment though, I just have to stick it out & see what happens. ... But I'm mainly trying to forget all that stuff, for now, & get into the christmas spirit (if only for the kid's sake).

I'm not really into chrismas either, but I do celebrate it to put smiles on people's faces, keep other family members happy, etc. When I was small I used to have christian values (because I had little choice in the matter), so I celebrated christmas willingly; but as I grew my word-view took on a very different form. I'm a member of no orthodox religion, however I am far from an atheist my any means, my spiritual side is by far the stronger aspect in my personality. ... I find at this time of year, that although many people are brought together to celebrate the exchange of presents, -- it seems that this is all christmas is really about for most folk these days -- there are always others who are lonely with no one to spend the cold season with, its quite sad when you think about it, so we should all be grateful for what & who we have, & furthermore make the most of our time with them.

On a happier note my partner has just found a relative who she hasn't seen in nearly 30 years, so as u can imagine she's quite excited by it all. I'm very happy for her, & am leaving her to talk... I thought this would be a good time for me to get online & do some talking of my own.

Soul_of_the_Ether

Ps. A note on lonliness: I've found that lonliness is part of the human condition... [I'll continue this later, I need to think it through before I say it so it all comes out right...umm...yeh...I'll be back.]

[DeanSoDisco]

sticking around is all we can do, worth it if just for the sunlight some days.

I also put the effort across for some people, my partner, my neice/nephue, and my sister...they all appreciate my lack of links to it, but I like to give them something to make them feel happy. Even though happiness through possesions is a grey area for me, but oh well, sometimes rules need to be broken.

I don't generally have anyone here for Christmas which is why I have ab it of cynical disdain I guess, as I'm permanenently alone willingly, so that my partner can be with her family, and my friends all have different people to attend to. The upside of this is walking on Christmas day, the World seems empty, and I feel calm due to that. I still know people care about me though, so it's not so lonely all the time.

Glad to hear about your other half finding their relative.

I look forward (perhaps not the right turn of phrase, but you catch my drift) to reading about your thoughts on loneliness Soul_of_the_Ether.

[DeanSoDisco]

I also have to voice my loneliness. I don't know how, but yes.

I feel alone, and I keep on falling down familiar holes in my mind.

There's no comfort in strangers, and I am afraid I'll dissapoint my few friends by accident somehow like this.

So a few sentences on the internet is my only real relief, I'm not allowed to take anything out on myself anymore. I'm not sure that's a good thing really.

[DeanSoDisco]

Actually wrote my first complete poem for a while tonight, so tired but I just can not sleep.

[Soul_of_the_Ether]

  I don't think I'm actually happy with this but I've written it so here it is. - This is a long one!

I’m glad you managed to finally write a whole poem; I can empathise with the frustration in not being able to write; I haven’t written a poem in nearly four years now; & I’ve only just got back a little of my flair for writing lyrics. I think part of my problem is finding inspiration, but also the fact that I just don’t have as much time anymore, & what little time I do have isn’t peaceful enough for thoughtful activities. ... But even still we have to carry on trying to write, as we know we’ll get there in the end 

Over the Christmas period I have to split myself between two families, so I’m not seen as neglecting anyone, but I think sometimes it would be a blessing to spend the time in thoughtful solitude. — Loneliness & Solitude go hand-in-hand, & at times I actually like both ideas, & would quite enjoy having both of them over for tea more often than I do now... LOL... I live with my partner in a mad house of 6! — I also like to give presents to cheer them up, but I can understand your concern with the whole presents=happiness thing; my only way of explaining it is people like the thought that someone cares enough to give them (along with the long list of other people) a present, even though it usually entails a major money shortage until the next pay day. — I spared a thought for my eldest brother yesterday whose spending it alone this year, by choice; however I’m sceptical as to the reason why, as I know more about him than he’s probably aware. But I say: good on him; he needs to straighten his head out before attacking things front on. ... Aumgn (Om) ... Focus... 

I think a lot of us as humans have the tendency to feeling alone, although like you said, we may not be entirely sure why; & as is also often the case, sometimes even though we may have people around us at the time. Simply put: Loneliness is a part — & party — of the human condition. This may seem strange to some, but it is due to the Illusion of Separateness (a Hindu & Buddhist concept). ... Now I should say that my conception of it all is somewhat hard to convey to another persons mind; this being further hampered by the intermingling of pertinent concepts; but I will try my best. Here goes:

Although the ultimate nature of Man is Universal, our immediate nature is particular. No two beings are alike, though of course on a biological level we all contain the same Carbon, Iron, Calcium, Hydrogen, & Oxygen within our molecular make-up. The only thing separating us from the rest of the Universe is our subjective perception of it all. So indeed if we believe we are beings separate from each other, or the rest of nature, this is exactly how it will be. Einstein said: "A human being is a part of the whole called by us "the universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical illusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." [I think he explains what I’m trying to say a little clearer than I].

I for one know intrinsically that I am not in truth alone, although at times I do have this perception, but this is mainly because of my mental state at the time, e.g. in times of sorrow (when I am not thinking aright). You see, for me: ‘existence is pure joy, & the sorrows are but as shadows, they pass and are done.’ When these shadows skew my vision, I may unknowingly wander off the path; but once they pass, the joyous Way is again in sight, & no more care do I have for the woes of separation. The root cause of the Illusion of Sorrow is superseded by a state of Joy. But what can be done to prevent us slipping back into old habits?

The problem lays in the fact that we as humans seek constantly to Unite ourselves, either physically or mentally, to some such thing as suites our particular tendencies; we do this throughout our lives, from one moment to the next, sometimes even unconsciously. Now where this causes us trouble, is the moment we realise that every Event occurs over time, & implies Change; however from experience we have learnt that not all change is good or even desired.  But how then can we ever hope to influence this Change for a beneficial outcome? It is certainly possible, even if a hard thing to do, but Change being the great teacher, experience is the only way of discovering this. — Oh blast it! I’ve had enough of this. ... To explain this adequately enough for me to be happy with it I would have to explain a large part of my belief system (which isn’t appropriate for this post); I’m not even satisfied that I actually said what I originally wanted to. But oh well...It’s been three days since I started to write this with little time to do so, so I’m giving up now ... Let me know if any of this makes the slightest bit of sense to you.

Be well,

[ether]

I think many of these things are true. For me the loneliness is real, we are all alone, no one can feel the things just like us.
Empathy do not exist, it's just an image created by our own experience. Because we are all unique we are all  definitely alone...

[DeanSoDisco]

I actually think there's no true uniqueness, which is not a bad thing. Everyone has someone with who relates to them, or who may have similar talents.

I feel uniqueness is a quality people often push as too important, existing, helping who you care for, and not stagnating is the way forward. As my friend once said to me, everyone plays a role even if they aren't aware they are acting.

Everyone does have unique experiences that mould our re-actions, but we do have empathy, I lack empathy for myself (which is an issue with self harm and addictions, which I've mostly curbed) but I have it intensely for my fiance, and for a sparse few friends.

[erotic]

Hello, I am new to this forum, although I have seen the movie long ago. Is it currently active?
What ether said is true.
But this reality is really the curse of the modern way of life. People have become too selfish, which leads to everyone feeling they are special. This false feeling of supremacy leads on its own to greater loneliness. A person is not born lonely. A person is just born.
People have also no idea how great is to be alone. A person who is self-aware would know that being alone is the only time when you trully are; then there is only one mask left. There are rarely people who are self-sufficient or just chosing to be alone rather than with others because of the realization that loneliness is not a physical phenomenon, it's a psychological one. To put it simple, it doesn't matter how much your friends you have, if you have any at all, and if the feeling of loneliness ceases temporaly because of someone else, it doesn't mean you have overcome it. But realization comes with time, that's one of the reasons why young people feel more lonely than others. I don't think people below the 20s or so would realize this. I am not saying that loneliness should cease to exist from the moment you feel it. I am saying that loneliness is a process which can be overcome only with time and reflection, just like most things.

[ether]

I agree with your thoughts. I have always admired the self-sufficiency,
it is true where we are alone we are realy ourself our thoughts are not to be altered by our surroundings.
But can we live like that?
I think living with people who do not understand us or who do not want understand is a form of solitude less painful.
I am over 20 but may be I am too weak or not mature enough.

[erotic]

It's a matter of choice. Maybe you feel no serious problem with your loneliness. I myself don't fight mine, when it's there. I was talking more in theory, but in reality loneliness is very natural for most people.

[mujstin]

About this loneliness,
right now i feel opposite
surrounded by peoples,
but i lived for few years
pretty lonely. Mum was
working all day until
night, and brother and
sister were abroad. At
that time,  when i was at
school everything was ok,
 but when i returned
home deep depression
were my only thoughts... 
 

[FreeBird]

Sometimes I feel as if a nuclear bomb has struck and I am the sole survivor, living amongst carnage.